Day One: Eyes Wide Open

Today is Day One for The New Grandmother. That's me and it doesn't mean I just became a Grandmother. It means that I'm going to become a New Me.


Actually, my first grandchild was born 13 years ago. Since then, there have been changes in my life that I have allowed to take place with abandon. Some good, some bad. Either way, I'm now going to make these changes mine. I am going to own each and every one, and once I own these reckless changes, I control them. That means the good will be recognized and embraced and the bad, well...they will be obliterated or accepted with awareness and grace.


I'm not sure how many there will be, but as I am looking closer at what's changed in my life since I entered grand-parenthood, feel free to comment on changes that you've noticed in yourself, your parents, or the Grandparents you know and love.


Change Number One - Bad


Here goes...I stopped looking at my body. And, because I stopped looking, I stopped thinking of it as a sexual or desirable being. The fact is, when I graduated into Grand-motherhood, I stopped looking at it all together. I just made sure it was there and available when, or if, a grandchild needed it.


Today, I looked. It wasn't great. Maybe it will never be great again, but from now on, I OWN this change and it has been obliterated. I will now look at my body (Lord, help me!) as often as I did when I first became a mother and was so concerned with what pregnancy did to my figure. I worked out and exercised and I looked in the mirror almost every day so I could see my pre-pregnancy shape return.


Now that I own this change, I will once again look at my body almost every day. Just so you know, I had a grab bar installed in the shower so that instead of looking down and closely watching the floor and preparing myself to eat shiny white tile and fluffy bath rug for breakfast, I can hold on and look straight ahead into the huge mirror directly in front of me. And look. Eyes wide open.


By the way, looking today convinced me to go to a gentle yoga class at my local rec center. I know...gentle yoga is for sissies, but I have to start somewhere and I have to start easy. Remember, I have not really looked at this blob for 13 years! There is work to be done and blowing out a knee or a lower back would not be sexy. So, gentle yoga it will be until I can safely move up to more strenuous classes. I am sure that by obliterating this change and looking at my body every day, I will soon begin to see my pre-Grandmother shape return. For the record, it was pretty darn sexy!